Living Sober

1 year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes … all of it, living SOBER. No beer, no wine, no liquor. I could tell you more about how much money I’ve saved, how many pounds and inches I’ve kept off, and other quantifiable results of giving up a daily alcohol habit, but all of that pales in comparison to the intangibles of my experience living a sober life. The “numbers” are interesting, but the real benefits of sobriety aren’t measurable in numbers, and until you’ve experienced something similar for yourself, it’s difficult to understand. This is my very abbreviated story, and there is no judgement here for anyone who lives a life different from mine. My intent to share this is strictly as a means for you to know me a little better, since we’re pals on the interwebs. ;-)

When people ask me why I quit drinking, or I can see them wondering but too afraid to ask, I struggle with my reasons why. My instinctual and gut reaction is always to say “I’ve had enough.” That’s really it, in a nutshell. I’d simply had enough of it. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life and too much of my young adult life drinking, partying, justifying bad behavior, having close calls with the law, trying to prevent hangovers, nursing crippling hangovers, and joking about being a high functioning alcoholic, and I was just done. Don’t get me wrong. We had some great times, didn’t we, my friends?! I wish I could remember all of them, haha. But seriously...

October 24, 2016, I had my last glass of my favorite wine and poured the rest of the bottle down the drain. It was the end to an unhealthy cycle that I felt I’d been in for too long. A cycle of denying, minimizing, justifying, anticipating, enjoying, overindulging, regretting, shaming, resolving, forgetting, and right back to the beginning. I was in that cycle for years, and it became too heavy, too burdensome, and I needed it to change. I needed a change. I needed to change, for me.  

Living sober feels like the most valuable gift I’ve ever given myself. I feel more alive, stronger, more confident, more at ease, more connected, and more aware. I’m proud of myself for finding the courage to quit, and stay committed to this path. I feel better than I ever have in my life, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, and I intend to continue to live sober. I want to say “Thank you” to my children, my husband, my family and my friends who have supported, encouraged, and accepted me in my sobriety. I appreciate you, I love you. I am here for you, always.

I am living a life that I want to remember, with a clear head and all of my senses enabled. I am living a life that is never perfect, but it’s honest and authentic and I will not hide from the messy bits. I am living a life where I am holding myself accountable, empowering myself, trusting myself, and forgiving myself for the things I’d rather forget. I am living a sober life because I want to see everything and everyone through a clean lens and with a sharp focus. I am living a sober life because it’s right for me. ~ Sara

“You can't just decide to be happy, but you can let go of the habits that bring you down and prioritize the choices that feed your spirit.”